The Calle Las Palmas Bum

So after a hard day of work, Dan, Stephen and I returned to the Santurce apartment to find a homeless man chest-deep in our dumpster. FYI, homeless guys strolling Calle Las Palmas is not out of the ordinary. This one in particular sets up shop in the median of the street during the day. Although he always seems cracked out, he’s pretty harmless. As we pulled into our parking spot early that evening with our rims still spinning (not really), we noticed the unprecedented amount of garbage tossed out of the dumpster, powerless to the whims of the ocean breeze. Half the garbage that was previously in the dumpster was now on the street. We decided not to get involved. After an hour or so, I decided to look at the bum’s progress from the 3rd floor terrace. I expected something like post-tornado wreckage, but what I saw blew me away (pun intended). Everything that he decided to keep from the dumpster was neatly packed into cardboard boxes, as if he were putting away dominoes. Not only was the rest of the garbage picked up, but the bum went above and beyond returning what he displaced and picked up everything in the surrounding area. He was the neatest bum I’ve ever encountered. Either he was so hopped up on the rocks that he felt the need to clean everything or he was really smart and picked up all the evidence of his illegal foraging. In conclusion, this was either an exceptional hobo or crack is good for you.

Stay tuned for the premiere of our upcoming video series titled, “Illegal in the U.S., fun in P.R.” Essentially, the crew will gallivant about town while partaking in activities illegal in the States, but commonplace here on the Isle of Enchantment (Most of these will be traffic violations).